Afterlife
by Nellee96
Summary: Dimitri is left to deal with the gaping hole in his heart after Rose passes. But can you really heal the loss of your true love? The heart is not easily mended, especially when guilt and grief consumes your mind. Perhaps there is an easier way to deal with the pain… All Dimitri has to do is let go… Rated M for dark themes.


**A/N: **I've been debating on whether to write a VA fanfic for quite a long time now but I can never seem to get around to doing it—between juggling exams and other fanfics. Well, it's safe to say that my craving for VA fanfics have overpowered me, so here it is. Despite having finished this, I still feel like this isn't enough to satisfy me. So watch out, there might be a longer (chapter) fanfic coming your way soon!

**Warning: **Mentions of drugs and alcohol—do not proceed if you cannot take it.

_AU ONE SHOT_

_(Set after the series.) Sorry this was so dark and twisted. Whoops..._

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><p><strong>AFTERMATH<strong>

He never thought it'd end this way.

He laid unmoving, sleep and darkness consuming his soul. Not once did he think he would die this way, but only now did he know that it was the only way.

_The only way to be happy forever…_

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_(1 hour before)_

For a moment, Dimitri stopped breathing and all he could feel was the heightened rush of feeling like he was flying. His head felt as light as a feather, like his burdens were being off lifted off his sore shoulders. He had not one thing on his mind, but he couldn't shake the bad feeling, the thing that had been nagging him ever since that fateful night. He was so drugged up on alcohol; so far gone to give a fuck about anything. His body was frozen but his mind was juggling a thousand thoughts, a thousand memories.

He stood there, body unmoving, thinking about his life—the regrets, the guilt, the pain. All he could feel was the burning sensation of sorrow and grief. He felt hollow, empty inside. He had nothing left, nothing since his heart had been ripped from him. He was thinking about every little things, analyzing everything he had done, all the mistakes. _Maybe I could've saved her…_

_If I had been faster, stronger, maybe I could've saved my Roza._

_Oh my Roza! _He cried; her name a constant reminder of his anguish and hurt. His lips quivered with uneasiness, as he murmured her name. He hadn't been there to help her, he hadn't been there when _she _need him most. He had been somewhere else, sulking in his pride. It was her ultimate downfall—he was the reason why she was now cold and unmoving.

_Roza. Roza. Roza. _He liked to whisper her name; he felt that she was still there, still with him. It was comforting to hear her name but it was painfully hard for him. For Dimitri to repeat her name so many times over, yet not be able to see her angelic face ever again made him sick to the stomach. The pain was excruciating. He felt sore all over, thinking that he would never see the one person that meant the most to him. But slowly, as he fell deeper and deeper into the darkness, her name swallowed him—engulfing him into a trance of happiness. Only it was not that, it was a lie.

His only true happiness was Rose…

And now with her gone, all his promises of happiness faded. It left him a bitter man, a shell of what once was a great warrior, and an even better fiancé. Dimitri now clung onto life desperately, abusing the power of alcohol and drugs to get him closer to Rose. He could feel her, sense her, see her motioning to come with her. But he would always wake before he could touch her. Oh, the times he spent dreaming of the days they would finally reunite.

He fought to remember the fading memories of the girl who had once stolen his heart; the girl that challenged him; the girl that made him a better man. The way her presence filled him with joy, the way she danced around him. The smile that was so contagious he had to smile and the way she would always fill the room with laughter. Life was so much brighter with her, but she was gone. But he didn't want to remember the way he held her in her arms for the last time and the way he had cried the many nights after. He couldn't think of her like that… like she was gone forever. He had driven himself mad with grief, her death, the impact of her lost overwhelmed him. How could he be expected to live without her?

How could he go on with life without her? He was her everything… And now she was taken from him too—so soon. So tragic.

He remembered the way she had grabbed onto his hand, coughing up blood as she stared into his eyes.

_Please Dimitri, promise this._ She whispered. Her blood staining his hands and the eyes that were once shining brightly came to a dull grey. _Promise me that you will live. And that you will do so with happiness and kindness. To live life like there is no tomorrow, because one day, you might not wake up. And trust me, you don't want to die with regrets. Remember that it is not the way others treat you that matter, but the way that you treat others. Life is not meant to be easy, it is going to be filled with hardships and sorrow, but I know you will get through it. You have to, for the both of us. I may be gone but I will forever live on inside you. Inside here. _She pointed to his heart. _Promise me you won't forget me_, _Dimitri. _He nodded, tears streaming so endlessly down his face that he thought they would never stop. They hadn't. He still cried, yearned for her until this very day.

He had promised her this, her last wish, but now he did not think he could keep this promise any longer.

Dimitri didn't want to stalk this earth anymore; breathing but barely living. He wanted to _go_, to join his precious Rose. But she had given her life for him, and he was being selfish throwing his life away now. She had died for him, for all of them, and now, he was about to throw his life away too? If he did, her sacrifice would have been in vain—for nothing. And he refused to let her die for nothing.

But as the alcohol took its toll, this glimmer of an idea ignited something inside of him. He realized, _he wanted to die_. _He wanted to join Rose_. He wanted to close his eyes and never wake up—he wanted it to be that simple. He didn't want the burden of carrying his guilt anymore. But he would miss the things that made life special; the sun that made his skin glow with warmth or the people that greeted him so kindly—his friends. His friends… friends that he had so carelessly tossed aside and had spent the past year wallowing in his broken state. He had achieved absolutely nothing except the destruction of himself.

Dimitri thought that forgetting her was the answer, the solution to all his problems. He had thought that by forgetting, he was finally able to move on. But how wrong he was. They, the drugs, solved nothing, they only left him half happy—unable to feel happiness as there was always something weighing him down. And he knew now, it was her death. Her death had such an impact on his life and it could never really be forgotten. It was the effect of a true love. The absence of her and her loving soul left him unhinged. He wasn't really living, he was just there. _Existing_.

Dimitri felt weak, the alcohol now draining out his senses. As his regrets and guilt vanished, a fleeting sensation of contempt and eternal happiness washed over him and he felt weightless.

"I didn't forget you _Roza_. I'm sorry I won't be able to keep my promise. I'm sorry I couldn't live and be happy, but we both knew I could never be happy without you. But I promise I will see you _soon_.

And he could feel himself slipping, slipping into the afterlife. As he closed his eyes for the last time, he saw her, _his Roza_, welcoming him with open arms.

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He ran to her, and he didn't look back.


End file.
